Improving Libido

 

Improving Libido

 

Lack of pleasure is only a disorder if those affected suffer from it. And there is a difference between suffering and the statement in surveys that sometimes or more often than before you are not interested in sex. In a large-scale telephone survey by US sociologist Edward Laumann, more than 33 percent of women and almost 16 percent of men said they had had little pleasure in the past twelve months. These are striking numbers that are also quoted again and again in the media.

 

A recent Hamburg study puts the situation into perspective. It takes into account the difference between lamenting and suffering. Here, too, 51 percent of women and 24 percent of men complained that they rarely wanted to have sex. But the researchers also asked whether the respondents, all of whom were in steadfast relationships, had problems with their listlessness. Only ten percent said they suffered severely or very severely from it. Interestingly, the gap between the sexes, which was so impressive in the American study, disappeared. From which one can possibly conclude that men complain of listlessness less often, but that the doldrums in bed bothers them as much or as little as women.  https://www.aptekakamagra.pl/zapytaj-o-produkt.html

 

Asexuality as a sexual orientation

In general, if you rarely or never feel like having sex and lead a fulfilled, satisfied life, you have no problem and certainly no disturbance. Also, abstinence does not lead to physical deficiencies, have shown recent studies in women. A natural ups and downs of desire in the course of a long-term togetherness is also completely normal, but mostly it goes downhill. Familiarity grows over time, but unfortunately the passion doesn't. In any case, studies show that, at least up to the middle years, the loss of pleasure is determined by the duration of a relationship. But not so much from age.

 

If everyone involved agrees not to have sex, listlessness is not an issue in the relationship. This also applies to people who voluntarily and happily celibate because they never feel erotic desire. They are not necessarily lonely, they simply have no need for sexual togetherness. They feel comfortable with it and have fun doing other things - even as a couple. After all, sex is not a prerequisite for love, affection, and closeness. If you don't like chocolate, you won't miss it either!

 

The so-called asexuality is now recognized by experts as a sexual orientation, it is not considered a functional disorder. It is not a new phenomenon: A prominent asexual was the Danish poet Hans Christian Andersen, who publicly admitted to his instinctiveness at the end of the 19th century: "There is an aversion to these things in me that my soul is so reluctant to deal with . " Nobody really knows how many people live asexually. There are no good statistical surveys on this and no official drawers either. According to the definition of the asexual network Aven, anyone who feels this way is asexual.

 

Causes of listlessness

Decreased sexual appetite was not officially defined as an independent diagnosis until the late 1970s. It is understood to mean that someone has no or subjectively too little desire for erotic activities and this leads to personal or interpersonal problems. Behind the term are different, difficult to grasp facets: lust, desire, fantasy, interest, excitement, drive, motivation, desire. And obviously there is a gap between those affected by their own ideas of what is by and large normal and what they themselves experience and do in everyday life. They perceive this gradient as a deficiency.

 

To date, scientists have not agreed on exactly how a lack of appetite as a sexual dysfunction should be diagnosed. There are different approaches to researching the cause and treating it. The pharmaceutical industry has been busy researching new wonder drugs for a good ten years. There is a large market for quick and fun solutions. It is true that the experts' opinions differ on the decline in erotic appetite. In one thing there are no two opinions: listlessness is considered a very difficult to treat psychosexual disorder.

 

It starts with the scholars arguing about the origin. Psychologists assume that almost all sexual disorders have an emotional and / or social background. Biological-body-related sex medicine specialists suspect organic or at least psychological causes in many cases - a biopsychosocial intersection, so to speak.

 

The desire in the head

Lust is something unspecific; in principle, it always works the same way. Regardless of whether it is about eating, drinking or sex: sensors in the skin transmit impulses to the cerebral cortex when they are touched. This in turn mobilizes the limbic system , i.e. the emotion and reward center in the brain. But how does the desire for sex arise? Where does desire begin, where does excitement begin? And how does one influence the other? In this context, the scientists speak of the "cerebral sex regulation system" - and admit that they still know very little about the external factors that influence our desire.

 

If the desire disappears, it can also have simple physical causes, for example hormonal disorders such as androgen deficiency or estrogen deficiency in women around the menopause. Side effects of drugs, such as antidepressants, can also play a role, but also depression, states of stress and exhaustion, alcohol addiction, and severe physical ailments. On a case-by-case basis, these possible triggers must be separated from the psychosocial environment, i.e. from the family, professional and emotional state.

 

Therapies: Sex homework and relationship work

Most people who are in a committed relationship seek help from a sex therapist. Often the listlessness is a sign that there are deeper emotional conflicts with the partner. Appetite disorder is almost always acquired, as therapists call it. This means that sex used to be fun, the physical desire was there. Many sex therapists therefore see the problem as a couple thing, even if only one person is directly affected. So you are basically dealing with the relationship.

 

In classical behavior therapy, those affected are given sexual "homework" and in this way learn to develop an erotic appetite. The analysis of early childhood experiences plays an important role in the psychodynamic approximation. The so-called systemic approaches focus less on pleasure than on communication disorders, i.e. on what is wrong in the interpersonal area. Some therapists combine the different approaches, as in the Hamburg model, which has been tried and tested for many years.

 

Sometimes it helps if both become a little stranger and thus more interesting within the togetherness. Or when one's own sexual desires and fantasies move more into the center of the erotic events. Because a listlessness that arises in the course of life and love together is often simply boredom in bed, comfort, inattention, habit. A quickie on the beach after all these years, or a deliberately staged seduction can restart the engine - but probably only if the relationship is basically okay.